My Finals are coming back tomorrow, and I am about panicking right now. I feel so afraid. Honestly, I have never naturally been what you may call a ‘good’ student – but I’ve worked so hard for this, I know. I have burnt the midnight oil (fine, 2:30 a.m oil, in this case), revised, practiced sums, memorized statistics and dates, everything one could possibly think of. My brain was dying so hard in the process of studying, all that was in my head was fluffy crack fics with crack pairings (mostly FAndre’ or FirminXAndre’, the pairing involving the two managers from the Phantom of the Opera although the fics I wrote mainly consisted of genderbending Andre’ because I have seen that in one production and it actually works so much better somehow).
So anyways, it’s all I’ve worked and waited for. Let’s just say things haven’t been going too easy for me at home sometimes either, and I really, really need to pass my subjects. It’s all coming back tomorrow, or, rather, in a few hours time, paper by paper, like slow poison.
I don’t know if I will pass anything, especially Science. My science teacher is a jerk who hates me and if I fail his subject after all I’ve worked for, then I don’t think I can ever show my face ever again to see him gloat over it.
I’m ranting. But it’s my blog, so I can rant. It frightens me so much I feel like crumbling and crying, especially since my parents don’t think I’m studying. I need to do something right; I can’t just mess up my Sophomore year finals, can I?